今日は久しぶりに父親と凄い長い間電話で話をした。
実は自分の父は７５になってやっと仕事を退職する事になった。
この後もなんだか仕事的な事はするんだろうけど、今回の仕事のプロジェクトが本当に本人にとって大切な思いの込めていた仕事だったので、まだプロジェクトが終了していないのに後任にプロジェクトを引き継ぐのが色んな意味で大変だったみたい。
自分も昔はサラリーマンだった時代もあって、心の込めて仕事をしてきたプロジェクトやチームから離れる切なさは想像できる。
まぁ、自分は６年ぐらいに対して父は５０年以上のビジネスだから想像を上回る事なのはもちろんだろうけど。
時代は変わって、人も出会いがあって別れがあって、悲しい時もあふれるぐらい幸せな気持ちも色々と乗り越えて来て人は今日があって、全部最高だと思うんだよね。父親から電話来た時は本人がなんか後悔の気持ちでいっぱいだったけど、俺は心の中で「こんなに後悔できるぐらい愛している仕事を一生でやってこれたのは本当にうらやましい！」と思った。
でも、俺自身愛している会社を離れたり、大切な友達等と永別する時、大切な人と別れる時、本当に心が引き裂かれそうに悲しい思いでいっぱいにもなるが、、、、、
その別れから失う物に執着するのではなく、そもそもその出会いを通じて得てきた事を大切にして前に進む事を思い出した。
父も若い時に彼の父親を戦争で失い、母を病気で失い、兄弟や、仕事の同僚、同期、、、等々、、、７５年生きていると沢山の人と別れを告げる事になる。
大病も乗り越えて「７５にもなれば生きている方が不思議！」って笑ってるの本人も見て来て凄い学ぶ事が多かったから、
なんとか父がその別れやチャレンジに向き合う姿勢から教えてくれた事を本人にまた伝えてきた。
一緒に今後どんな仕事を一緒にできるだろうか！？という話も盛り上がった。
一緒に旅行に行く話も沢山した。
元気な気持ちになってくれて電話を切った後に、こういう会話ができて本当に幸せで。嬉しかった。
どんな時も、どんな年になっても、毎日が新しいスタートだよね！
I had a long telephone call with my dad just now.
He's retiring from his business after many many many many years of service to his corporation.
More than 50 years of work but only two companies!!! Amazing if you think about it.
But this phone call wasn't the kind of phone call where he looks back at his successful career and sighs in relief of being free of all the pressures of work…
It was completely different. It was a call filled with grieving at the loss of his strongest passion in life, his life work.
I can't imagine how it feels to retire from your business after 50 years of service. Musicians usually die playing 'till their last moment….. I mean why would you quit right?
But I went back to my old memories of being the ol' Japanese "Salary-man" where life-time employment and servitude toward your corporation was your life. To be honest I enjoyed the simplicity of the military style devotion to your boss and company.
I was very sad to leave the company to pursue my passion of teaching language/music and creating/performing music.
Every farewell, be it from a company or friend or lover I think is the most painful thing you can experience if you care about it. The more you care about something the more it hurts to say good bye.
Watching my father over the years I've felt that he's had to say good bye to many things. When he was young he lost his own father in the war, his mother from cancer, his brother, colleagues in freak accidents… you name it… 75 years and your bound to experience a lot of farewells.
But from what I remember, he's always taken each relationship to heart, and the way he's handled the emotional and physical challenges have really taught me an important lesson about life.
It's easy to end up dwelling on the negative feeling of loss from what you will miss when someone/something is gone.
However it's more important I think to remember what you've gained from the twist of fate that made your paths cross…..
I tried my best to remind him of how much he's made me feel that way by watching him over the years.
We talked about many things, like about new projects that we can do together now that he has more time.
We talked about going on some vacations that never happened when he was so busy….!
I'm proud to say he was happy he was able to talk to me. I hope I was able to something for him. He hung up much happier than when he first called me.
Everyday is another new day! If you think about it it's awesome that we'll always have enough time for a fresh new start.
No comments:
Post a Comment